Too Short

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.  If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ~Mother Teresa

I love this quote.  And lately, I have been thinking a lot about the first two lines. People really can be unreasonable and self-centered sometimes.  But we are never told to forgive someone only if they deserve it.  We don't deserve it, but Christ forgives us...  

Anyway, I think I've been thinking about this lately because of some dear friends of mine that have experienced a serious fracture in their family relationship. Now, this is not meant to call them out or nitpick them or even to tell them to fix things...I don't know all of the details...it would be a far cry for me to tell them what to do.  But it breaks my heart for them...and it also has been a good reminder for me of forgiveness, love, apology, and a whole slew of other things that can often break relationships when ignored.

When I was younger, I remember being at home one evening and hearing a 20/20 or 60 Minute special of some sort playing in the background as I did homework or ate dinner, whatever the case may have been.  The story was about a teenage boy who died in some incident or another.  I can still hear his mom's strained, heart-broken voice as she told her story to the interviewer.  As tears (no doubt) fell down her cheeks, she said, "As I watched him get in the car that morning, he said, 'I love you, mom'.  Those were the last words I ever heard him say."  That sentence rocked my 13-year-old mind.  I don't remember a single other detail from that story.  All I remember is thinking, "If I were to die, I want the last words my parents hear me say is that I love them."

From that moment on I never left the house (or let my parents leave the house) or went to bed without making sure the last thing I said was, "I love you".  And I still do that.  It's even carried over to others in my life.  Hubs, other family, friends.  For those who don't understand my ulterior motive, I could see it getting a little annoying and weird.  Example:

Me: "Bye.  Love you!"

Other person: "Love you, too!  Hey, by the way, are you still coming to the <insert event> next week?

Me: "Yep, we'll be there!  Love you!"

Other person: "Ok great!  Tell <insert person> I said hi!"

Me: "Will do!  Love you!"

Other person: *didn't she say that already?* "Uh, yep, love you, too..."

Yes, I realize that could be a bit exaggerated.  But then again, not really.  Pretty sure similar conversations have actually taken place between me and others. People are gonna know I love them, gosh darn it!

Maybe I do take it over the top sometimes.  I'm sure that people understand I love them even if I say it before other things.  I don't think that someone is actually going to say upon my death, "The last thing she said to me was 'I love you.  Good-bye.'  Oh, how I wish she had said it in reverse order!!!" <insert sobbing scene from "The Christmas Story" when Ralphie imagines his future self going blind>  

But it's the principle.  I just never want my last interaction with someone to be me slinging fiery daggers of angry or hurtful words that I can never take back into his or her soul.  I can't even imagine the thought of someone I care about leaving this earth--and knowing that I was too stubborn to forgive or apologize. Yeah, that's right, I went there: people die.  We aren't guaranteed our next breath.  I don't mean that to sound morbid or to make you live in fear that at any moment you or your loved ones might leave this world.  But the reality is that life is way too short to hold grudges, stay angry, be selfish, or to not apologize. 

No, I'm not saying that you can't get mad or have disagreements or do something dumb (well, we shouldn't do dumb things, but we do...and we will), but it's what you do after it's all said and done that is important.  Do you need to tell someone you forgive them or that you are sorry?  Or maybe you just need to make sure someone knows you love them.  'Cause after all, life is just too short.