The Bunny Chronicles: Part Three

"Well, maybe they should try it sometime. Bet they'd like it. Instead of clapping at me and telling me no, they should just snuggle down next to me and...

Chew the carpet. They really shouldn't knock it 'til they've tried it. It's just too much fun. And it makes my teeth feel great. Plus, I stack up these excellent little piles of carpet shavings. It's actually a work of art. Mom (aka: Female Human) does not appreciate my artistic abilities. I tried to gnaw an awesome Batman-shape into the carpet one time, but Mom just clapped at me. At first, I thought she was applauding my efforts, but nooooo. Apparently carpet art is frowned upon in this establishment.

Mom and Dad (aka: Male Human) try to avert my attention to other things. They leave a cardboard box and a chew toy and all sorts of things in the middle of the living room now. While I appreciate the sentiment--and do chew these on occasion--I find their efforts quite comical. Cardboard and wood vs. carpet? Please. That's a no-brainer.

Before you think me a carpet snob, I should make it clear that I do chew other things sometimes. Like the dvd boxes under the table. Or the corners of books if I can get near the bookshelf. Oh! And one time I designed lovely artistic etchings all around the edges of Dad's flip flops. Then there was the giant pillow monster that I annihilated under the bed. The Humans will thank me later, I'm sure.

Well, I thought this chewing business was all fun and games until I gnawed into something that caused Mom and Dad to lose something called "the Internet" for 24 hours. The next time Mom let me out of my pen, I bounded around the corner, down the hallway and was met with this:

Seriously?

Well, fine. Once I realized I was confined to the hallway only, I just went back to my pen. That'll show them. Nobody puts Bunny in the proverbial corner.

I only pouted for about a day. I can't really stay mad at them for long. They feed me and give me pets, and sometimes they smile and laugh while they rub my ears and call me "Brat" or "Stinker". I think those must be Human terms of endearment.

And I know they don't want me chewing on things that might hurt me. They're pretty awesome like that. Maybe I'll stop chewing stuff.

Nah, probably not."